When it comes to relationships, there’s nothing worse than being stuck in the “friend zone.” When you long to be a lover, being trapped in this minimal position can cause you a significant internal struggle. Some people are afraid to move forward, while others battle conflicting emotions for months or years of their life.
It’s humiliating to be only thought of as “just a friend” when you desire so much more. Many times, people are afraid to take the next step because they’re worried they will lose a good friend, embarrass themselves by admitting their feelings, or are worried that it won’t work out. It’s complicated to make the shift from friend to lover, but you must follow your heart.
You can live in silent torment if you’re pining away after someone who is a close friend, and you want more. The long nights of hopelessly wanting and waiting for more seems unbearable. If you’re going to put your feelings on the line and still maintain a sense of dignity, then here are some ways to move beyond the “just friends” state.
1. Assess the Risk
There are significant risks to jumping out of the friend zone and into a relationship. What would happen if it doesn’t work out? Once you’ve crossed that line, it isn’t easy to go back to just friends. Can you handle the possibilities of them out of your life?
Make a pro and con list of how to handle the situation. Do the benefits outweigh the risks? Have there been any behaviors or indications from him or her that they want more? Think carefully before you make your next move.
2. Develop a Game Plan
Once you’re ready to get out of the friend zone, it’s time to formulate a plan. Do you want a romantic dinner by candlelight to tell them how you feel, or do you want to take them to a park surrounded by nature? It’s essential that you set the stage for the big announcement.
Make a straightforward plan of what you will say, where it will be, and how it will occur. Maybe you could take them to your favorite coffee shop to talk over a cup of Joe.
3. Find the Right Time
Timing is everything in life. You don’t want to ask for a person to leap out of the friend zone the week of finals. If their mind is already overwhelmed by everything going on, then you may not get a receptive response.
Additionally, they may not feel that they’re in a place to develop romantic attachments with so much other stuff going on. It’s best to find the right moment. Then again, there may never be a perfect time, and you shouldn’t prolong the conversation as it only extends your torment.
4. Empower Yourself with Confidence
Whether you’re a man or woman doesn’t matter, it’s challenging to speak up when your dignity is on the line. You must use courage over your fear to tell the other person how you feel. If you don’t take the chance to speak up about your feelings, you may lose them to someone more open and honest.
You need to muster up all the internal strength you can find to tell this person the truth. Remember, you have nothing to lose by being honest, and you might gain everything. It’s always better to be upfront and truthful than to sit by and remain quiet and frustrated.
5. Don’t Go Straight to Sexual Places
If you’ve never had a talk with your friend about being more than just buddies, you shouldn’t go right sex talk. Sure, they’re smoking hot and sexy, and you dream about making love to them, but if you come out of the gate with this statement, you may scare them away.
It would be best if you told them why you feel so strongly about them. List their qualities that you find attractive such as their eyes or hair. Also, you should bring out things about them that you appreciate beyond physical beauty.
If you want to give your conversation power and merit, then you need to speak your heart. There will be plenty of time for romance later. Right now, you need to get down to business with a serious conversation about your future.
6. Have a Conversation Face-to-Face
There are some conversations that you don’t have by text or by email, and flipping from a friend to a lover is one of them. It’s easy to send a text and wait anxiously for them to answer, but it’s best to look them eye-to-eye and tell them how you feel.
The direct contact and body luanguage let them know that you are serious about them. The other party needs to see how much this means to you. They need to hear the conviction in your voice and see the warmth in your eyes.
It’s easier to say “no” when you’re sending a text, but it’s more challenging to deny true feelings in a person to person setting.
7. Don’t Beg
You want to keep your dignity intact in case this conversation doesn’t go the way you want. Try to come up with a statement that is a few sentences at most. You want to get to the point and stop chattering.
Don’t beg or plead or make bargains for someone to want you as more than friends. Either there’s more there, or there isn’t. You need to state your peace and then give him or her time to say how they feel. Always speak directly to them and be confident. Don’t hesitate or stutter over your words.
8. Be Honest with Yourself
Regardless of how things went down, you need to be honest with yourself. If they didn’t give you the answer you want, don’t hold on thinking they will change their mind. You are only wasting precious time that you could spend with someone else.
If they admitted that they have feelings for you and want to move out of the friend zone, you need to be honest enough to realize this changes everything. Once you cross from friends to lovers, there’s no going back to the way things were.
9. Make Them Miss You
If you didn’t get the answer you want, or they need time to think about things, then you need to give them some space. One of the best tricks in the book is to make them miss you so that they can see how much they genuinely care about you.
Being in the friend zone for an extended period can mess with your mind. While men and women can certainly be friends, there’s always that inner drive that makes one or both want more at some point and time. If they’re unsure how they feel about moving on from the friend zone, spending some time apart may be just what they need to sort out their feelings.
10. Admit Defeat and Move On, If Necessary
You don’t want to hang around any longer than you need too. If you’ve put your feelings on the table, then things will never go back to the way they used to be. If they don’t want any romantic attachments with you, then cut your losses.
There are very few times in these instances where you can salvage the friendship as most of the time. People will go their separate ways. When one wants to be romantically involved, and the other wants to be just friends, it doesn’t work. Admit the relationship was never meant to be, and simply move on.
Final Thoughts on Admitting Defeat if You Do Not Break out of the Friend Zone
The old saying states that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have experienced love at all was never stuck in the friend zone when he made such a statement. Still, with each time you give a piece of your heart away, it’s one part of it that you can’t get back.
There is no better feeling than love. It can get you through the darkest nights and give you a reason to get up in the morning. Sadly, there is also no more considerable pain than that of lost.
Think long and hard before you attempt to make the jump from friends to lovers. There is much at stake, and this move will change everything. Try some friendly flirting first and see how and if they respond to your subtle advances.
It’s always best to have some assurance before you take the plunge, but sometimes you must close your eyes and jump!