6 gestures of love that can have a big effect on your relationship

6 gestures of love that can have a big effect on your relationship

You and your partner get along quite well: you rarely argue and for trivialities. Now you have established a consistent pattern of communication and you hardly wonder if things could get any better than this.

It’s good to be careful: even a healthy and fluid relationship can have negative aspects. For example: when was the last time you wondered if you could be nicer to him/her?

It may seem strange to you, but an excess of stability can also have its negative sides. Neither tries hard nor looks for new ways to show their feelings to the other. As much as possible, the members of the couple often avoid controversial topics that could trigger a hypothetical disagreement. Strange as it is to admit, it is possible that in the couple the boredom points the tip of his nose.


According to the latest research by Brian Don and his colleagues at the University of North Carolina (2020), when couples are driven by avoidance or a desire to minimize conflict, their relationship can lose vitality. In reality, indeed, couples benefit from an approach in which “they seek, desire and respond to positive stimuli”.

Let’s not forget: conflict can be a positive relationship event, although it obviously needs to be managed. What must be avoided is slipping into absolute neutrality and avoidance.

Another interesting finding from Brian Don’s research is that people who tend to approach each other will adopt positive behavior towards othersa dynamic that will result in a greater number of “sweet” moments which, in turn, can generate an “avalanche reaction” which creates greater satisfaction in the relationship.

When you strive to be nice to your partner, you’re not only being nice, you’re doing so much more. You also communicate to your partner that you have his well-being in mind, that you do not forget: it is a strong signal that you care about him / her. Both of you will experience positive emotional benefits.

The research team also managed to show, through several tests, that couples with higher commitment motivation actually experienced more positive emotions. Basically, these effects were noticed by the respective partners who, in turn, provided more positive emotional responses.

So, seeking sweet moments with your partner can provide the foundation to further enhance the enjoyment of these events – not just yours, but your partner’s as well.

What does this study show? This confirms the importance of looking at a relationship in terms of enhancing the positive – it’s not enough to just avoid everything negative.

Remember: your actions have a positive impact on your partner’s satisfaction, increasing your emotional rewards.

Based on the findings of Don and his team, we recommend below 6 Behaviors That Seem to Have Particularly Beneficial Effects. You’ll notice that it’s actually small gestures and small things.

6 small gestures that generate positivity in your relationship

    • 1. Take the time to listen to your partner’s concerns. Make it clear that you’re willing to listen to what’s bothering him/her, even if it’s something that may seem innocuous. An example ? It might just be enough to make sure you put the magazines away on the coffee table after reading them, instead of leaving them in a mess.
    • 2. Share an activity with your partner, even if you don’t like that activity very much. Going for long walks might not drive you crazy, but he/she is used to doing it every night. Get involved, even if only sometimes. You might find that it’s not so bad to share this moment with her.
    • 3. Talk to her when something positive happens to you. This type of communication has been shown to have positive effects on the couple. Sharing the good news shows your partner that you appreciate what he/she thinks of you.
    • 4. Take a few minutes to take care of little things that might help her. The everyday life examples included in the study were actually small gestures, like filling a bottle of water in the morning when he/she is in a hurry to go out.
    • 5. Help him/her achieve his/her goals. Adopt behaviors that bring him/her closer to his/her goals and not behaviors that, on the contrary, would take him/her away from his/her goals. If you know he/she is trying to lose weight, instead of continuing to serve high-calorie meals, take the time to prepare healthy foods for both of you.
    • 6. Do things only you can do. Like the bottle of water, there may be times when your experience and knowledge are needed to solve a problem in his life, whether it’s sewing on a button or solving a computer problem.
      Part of what contributes to the beneficial effects of these little ways to generate positivity in your relationship is also your ability to convey positive feelings throughout the process.

Helping others begrudgingly, or with a timid attitude, could render best efforts useless. Try to show gratitude or be helpful, and try to do it with a good attitude.

find the joy of small things and small gestureswhether addressed to the other or received: this detail can play an important role in improving the quality of your relationship, allowing each to achieve greater satisfaction in everyday life.

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